My boyfriend/girlfriend is pressuring me to have sex and I don’t want to. What can I do?
You should never feel pressured into doing something you don’t feel comfortable with. If you are worried or doubtful then don’t do it.
If you’re unsure, you’re probably not ready yet. And if you’re not comfortable with kissing, caressing with your clothes on, being touched on your breasts or between your legs, then you’re definitely not ready to have sex.
Remember the first time you have sex should be with someone you like and respect, and who feels the same way for you. If you’re not ready now they should respect you and your wishes and wait for a time that you might be. Of course you might never be, and that’s OK too.
Ways to say no to sex:
- No, I really don’t want to.
- I’m not ready for that yet.
- I don’t want to go any further than this.
- I am happy to kiss you, but that’s all.
- Let’s just kiss for a while.
- I don’t want to go any further than kissing, hugging and touching.
- I want to slow down.
- Slow down.
- Not now. (That doesn’t mean you have to say yes next time!)
There are more tips on consent and safe sex in the book, Girl Stuff 13+: Your Full-on Guide to the Teen Years.