How do I stop people from touching my tummy?

It’s a tad mind-boggling but some people want to touch your tum, and even do it without asking. Most people know it’s rude to just reach out and touch someone. Others don’t realise, or act without thinking. If you don’t want them to touch your tum:

• If they ask, ‘Do you mind if I touch your stomach?’ you can say, ‘I’d rather you didn’t, thanks for asking.’
• If they reach out, stop their hand before it makes contact and say firmly, ‘Please don’t touch me. It makes me uncomfortable.’
• If they get their hand on you without warning, step back or, if necessary, gently and firmly take their hand and use the same words above.
• If they do it again, you may say, ‘Touch me again and I will break a chair over your head and blame it on hormones.’ You choose whether or not to smile when you say it.

For more on dealing with rudeness and unwanted attention in pregnancy, see the book Up the Duff: The Real Guide to Pregnancy.